


sweet dreams

by theglitterati



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Wakes Up In Porn Movie Version Of Their Life, Humor, M/M, Multi, Sex Dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:26:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26414128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theglitterati/pseuds/theglitterati
Summary: Hajime arrives at volleyball practice and finds it much... sexier than he remembers.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Aobajousai Volleyball Club, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 5
Kudos: 112





	sweet dreams

**Author's Note:**

> When I was doing Smut4Smut in the spring, I saw this tag: "character hits head and wakes up in porn movie version of their life". I immediately knew that someday, I had to write it.

Like most days, Hajime woke up before sunrise. He changed into gym clothes, ate a simple breakfast of eggs on rice, and brushed his teeth. At a quarter to seven, he left home for volleyball practice, jogging to campus to shake off the last vestiges of sleep. He passed the usual faces, his elderly neighbour walking his dog, the business-suited power couple getting an early start. He waved to them, as he did most days.

Upon arriving at school, Hajime quickly realized today was not like most days.

His first clue was the uniforms. He spotted two girls from his class at the gates; they were in the choir, and were probably heading to rehearsal. Hajime slowed to a walk as he passed them, then stopped completely, turning to stare.

Had the Seijoh uniform skirts always been that short? Had they always included lacy thigh-highs? And were his two classmates always so… buxom?

The girls smiled at Hajime, giggling. “Morning, Iwaizumi-kun!” One of them winked.

“Um, good morning.” Hajime hadn’t ever spoken to them before, and he was having trouble keeping his eyes on their faces. He waved awkwardly and rushed away in the direction of the gym.

A strange noise stopped him before he reached the clubroom, muted laughter and something else, coming from a nearby copse of trees. Against his better judgement, he followed the sound. He found Matsukawa and Hanamaki hiding there, locked in each other’s arms and… _sucking face_ was the only way Hajime could describe it.

He wasn’t really surprised; more shocking than them kissing was that they’d gotten to campus earlier than him. He tried to extricate himself, but they saw him before he could leave.

Makki gasped, high and wheezy. “We’ve been caught!”

“So we have.” Mattsun sauntered over to Hajime, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “Hey, you. We were wondering when you’d show up.”

Hajime blinked. “Practice doesn’t start for ten minutes.”

Makki joined them, toying with Hajime’s shirt collar. “We were hoping to have some fun with you _before_ practice.”

The hand on Hajime’s shoulder drifted to his hair, tugging experimentally. “Yeah, come have fun with us, Hajime.” Something warm and wet slid over the shell of Hajime’s ear: Mattsun’s tongue. 

Hajime jumped out of his grasp. “What the fuck?! You two are so weird!”

“Aww, don’t be mean,” Makki said.

Hajime backed away. “No, uh, no judgement, or anything, but I’m good. You two have fun with each other.”

“We’ll be waiting if you change your mind!” Mattsun called after him.

_You’ll be waiting a long time,_ Hajime thought. He left the trees and continued his journey to the clubroom.

At the top of the stairs, he rounded a corner and walked straight into Kindaichi.

“Oh, sorry, Iwaizumi-san!” He at least sounded like his usual, deferential self.

“Don’t worry about it.” Hajime patted him on the shoulder and stepped around him.

Kindaichi grabbed his wrist. “Um, Iwaizumi-san?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember when you bought me lunch last week, when I forgot my wallet? I said I’d pay you back?”

“Right.” Hajime had forgotten all about it.

Kindaichi scratched his head. “The thing is, I don’t really have any money to pay you with.”

“That’s fine. Pay me when you have some, I guess.”

_Problem solved,_ Hajime thought. But Kindaichi didn’t let go.

“I don’t have any money,” he repeated, “but maybe there’s another way I can pay you?”

“Um,” Hajime said. Kindaichi dropped Hajime’s wrist and went for his shorts instead, fingers working at the drawstring. “Um!” Hajime repeated.

“Don’t worry, senpai,” Kindaichi said seriously. “Let me take care of you.”

“No!” Hajime shrieked. “I mean, I’m flattered, I guess? I don’t— just keep your money!” He gave up his remaining dignity and ran away down the hall, bursting into the clubroom and locking the door behind him. Shakily, he dropped his bag and began gathering his things.

What was the matter with everyone today? Why did they suddenly find Hajime so irresistible? Did they forget who his boyfriend was? No one, _no one,_ got jealous like—

“Hey.”

Hajime thought the clubroom was empty, but apparently not. Kunimi leaned against the lockers, drinking a bottle of Gatorade.

“Hey,” Hajime said carefully. 

They stared at each other for a moment, Hajime searching Kunimi’s face for any hint that he was about to jump him. Without looking away, Kunimi tipped his bottle, spilling Gatorate all over his tshirt and shorts. “Oops,” he said lazily. “Guess I need to take these off. You wanna help?”

“No!”

They were pranking him. It had to be a prank, or else he was going insane. Either way, Kunimi was down to his underwear, and Hajime needed to get out of there. He grabbed his things, smacked Kunimi’s hands away from his ass, and raced out of the room and all the way to the gym. 

The gym really was empty, so Hajime decided to look for Oikawa. If this was a prank, it was almost certainly his doing: a practical joke on his boyfriend, or maybe some weird test of fidelity. If Oikawa wasn’t in the gym or the clubroom, he’d be in the bathroom down the hall, playing with his hair. Hajime would start there.

It took him a while to reach the bathroom; he was waylaid by Watari, holding a pizza box and asking Hajime if he ordered extra sausage, and Yahaba, wearing a straight-up maid costume and flipping his petticoats. Finally, he opened the bathroom door and spotted a familiar mop of brown hair in front of the mirror.

“Oikawa! There you are, oh my god. You will not believe what has been—”

Hajime stopped walking, stopped talking, stopped breathing.

Oikawa pouted at him. “What, you don’t like my uniform, Iwa-chan?”

The top wasn’t that different from his usual uniform, minus the low-cut neckline and the bow tied around his neck. But the skirt was certainly different — it was the same super-short one Hajime had seen on the girls outside — as were the thigh-highs. Oikawa even wore the black kitten heels that Seijoh girls wore.

“I know I look great in the boy’s uniform, but I thought I’d try this out for a while—”

“Why?” Hajime asked, his voice rising. “Why is this happening? Why is everything so fucking _sexy_ today?”

“Shhh.” Oikawa pushed Hajime down onto a bench that Hajime was sure hadn’t been there a moment ago and knelt between his legs. “Don’t you worry, Iwa-chan. Everything’s going to be fine.

“The truth is, I put this on because I thought we could do a little role-playing. I’ll be the school— well, boy, and you can be the stern teacher that puts me in my place. Sound good?”

“I—” Hajime was at a loss. Oikawa kept touching him, hands running up and down his thighs, and it was very distracting. He _did_ look good in the uniform, his strong legs stretching the thin stockings, the red bow the same colour as his lips. Hajime thought he caught a glimpse of a tent in his skirt. 

He gave in. “I guess that would be okay?”

Oikawa grinned, then schooled his face into a guilty pout. “Sensei,” he purred. “I’ve been a bad boy.”

Hajime snorted. “Is that so?”

“Really, really bad,” Oikawa said. “I think you need to spank me.”

Hajime was much more aroused than he wanted to be. Stupid Oikawa. He stood. “Bend over, then.”

Oikawa leaned over on his elbows. Hajime took a moment to run his hands over Oikawa’s thighs, the soft silk of the stockings and the warm, bare skin above them.

“Mmm, _sensei,”_ Oikawa murmured.

Hajime toyed with the skirt, testing the feel of the fabric with his fingers. He pulled it up, just enough to expose a hint of lace underneath—

“What about me?” a deep voice said. Hajime jumped, dropping the skirt.

Oikawa huffed. “Wait your turn, Mad Dog-chan!”

As usual, Kyoutani ignored Oikawa, stepping around in front of Hajime. He wore the same outfit as Oikawa, only with a looser tie.

“What about me?” he repeated. “I’ve been a bad boy, too—”

“Ahhhh!”

Hajime woke up screaming, jerking in his seat.

“Iwa-chan?”

He whipped his head around. Oikawa sat next to him, wearing his school uniform — his _normal_ school uniform. Hajime was wearing it, too. A quick look around told him they were on a bus.

“Ooh, you look spooked!” Oikawa said gleefully. “Bad dream?”

Hajime shook his head, trying to clear the images. It would probably take him years to dispel that last one. “You could say that.”

His memory returned: they had been on a class trip to the museum. He must have fallen asleep on the way back. Thankfully, he had done so with his backpack in his lap, hiding all evidence of the more arousing aspects of the dream.

“What was it about?” Oikawa asked. “Zombies? No, monsters? Aliens!?”

“The first one,” Hajime said. “Zombies.”

Oikawa leered at him. “I think you’re lying— ow, okay, fine, don’t tell me!” Hajime had punched him in the arm.

Hajime did not tell him. He was never going to tell anyone, ever, about the contents of that dream. But when they got off the bus and Oikawa linked their hands together, Hajime asked, “Your sister went to Seijoh, too, right?”

“Yeah,” Oikawa said. “Why?”

“Any chance she still has her uniform?”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at kyrstin.tumblr.com.


End file.
